* Gov. DeSantis doesn't want protestors being big meanies outside of people's homes. Remember: You only have the right to protest if it doesn't like...inconvenience anyone. [AP]
* In Texas, the right to free speech includes broadcasting murderous rampage. Yup, progress is totally linear. [Invenglobal]
* Law firms like to see their employees faces so much, they're threatening to cut salaries for working from home. [Law.com]
* Oregon's failure to provide public defenders has landed them in court. [AP]
* Have you been considering Cuba? Might be a little easier to visit now. [Miami Herald]
* We are still in a political climate where a not Forbes 400 rich, but still rich guy can treat charges for inciting a riot like making a traffic ticket disappear. Woo. [Reuters]
* Working at a law firm in Philly? You may not need to change out of those sweatpants for a little longer. [Law.com]
* Federal judges gave most of the failed coup'ers lighter sentences than prosecutors recommended. I didn't expect them to get life in jail for stealing 9 bucks or anything, but come on. [The Crime Report]
* The United States imposes visa restrictions on Cuban officials as a punishment to their connection to arresting citizens for peaceful protests. I hope other countries don't return the favor. [Jurist]
* OSHA! COVID test for OSHA! Starbucks mandates vaccines or weekly COVID tests for its employees to keep in line with OSHA. [Legal Reader]
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* Cop found not guilty for killing Philando Castile because it's simply not illegal for cops to kill black men. Maybe this will just sag, like a heavy load. Or maybe explode. [NPR]
* Professor Orin Kerr thinks that self-driving cars will change police strategies. Maybe, but cops will still find a way to murder unarmed black men for automated "menacing" driving or something. [Volokh Conspiracy]
* Hero Pop shows these men of will what will really is. And Trumpsters are "heartbroken."
https://twitter.com/JackPosobiec/status/875592455365599234
* David Lat was on The Takeaway today to talk about the Avengers-level team of witch hunters Robert Mueller has assembled. [The Takeaway]
* Dreamers can stay, their parents must go. This passes for a "victory" in these times. [ABA Journal]
* There's a scene in Star Trek 3 where Captain Kirk asks Klingon Christopher Lloyd to beam up teenage Spock. The Klingon says no, Kirk asks why, and Lloyd says, "Because you wish it!" Trump's Cuba reversal, and general political strategy, seems to follow the same logic as Klingon Christopher Lloyd. If Captain Obama wished it, the Trump does not do it. [New York Times]
* Breitbart is covering and promoting a protest in response to the Congressional shooting. A protest of -- I'm not making this up -- a protest of CNN. Guns don't kill people, fact-based journalism kills people. [Breitbart]
* It's official: Justice Clarence Thomas hasn't asked a question during oral arguments at the Supreme Court in a decade. No other justice in history has ever done something like this, but Justice Thomas is "confident enough in his own skin not to care." [MSNBC]
* Who would make a better SCOTUS justice, Judge Sri Srinivasan of the D.C. Circuit or U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Preet Bharara? President Obama may be wondering when deciding whether to appoint the high court's first Asian-American justice. [New York Daily News]
* Judge H. Russel Holland was presiding over the DOJ's action against two allegedly discriminatory polygamous cities on the Utah-Arizona border when he was rushed away in an ambulance. He had a terrible case of bronchitis. Feel better, Your Honor! [AP]
* Gowlings, Canada's second-largest firm, merged with UK-based Wragge Lawrence Graham to form an international firm with 1,400+ lawyers in 10 countries. Accept our cautionary congratulations, since layoffs usually follow mergers of this size. [Reuters]
* Aww, how cute! After working as a fully integrated firm for almost two years, Squire Patton Boggs has announced its first-ever merger with another firm. Welcome San Francisco-based firm Carroll Burdick & McDonough to the party. [Plain Dealer]
* Mayer Brown is relying on a lateral associate to help its Cuba practice shore up client relations on the island through all of her connections there, which have been described as "hot property." She even got her own press release. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]
* With sagging enrollment and disappointing job statistics, offering students some tuition reimbursement if they're still unemployed nine months after graduation is a great way to put asses in seats. We'll have more to say about this news later today. [New York Times]
* Testimony in the Dewey & LeBoeuf criminal trial got a little more interesting when jurors learned that the plan to cook the firm's books to the tune of more than $50 million was hatched after a pricey steak dinner at Del Frisco's. Don't all evil Biglaw plans come together after an expensive steak dinner? [DealBook / New York Times]
* These people just won the criminal justice reform lottery: In case you missed it, President Barack Obama commuted the sentenced of 46 nonviolent drug offenders in order to shine a light on punishments that didn't fit the crimes committed. [POLITICO]
* Pay close attention to this information, gunners, because it probably applies to you. Per a new study conducted by two Colorado Law professors, LSAT scores are an “overvalued predictor” of future law school grades and résumé builders don't matter. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Osvaldo Miranda Diaz, the lawyer who called Cuba's criminal justice system "disgusting" during a presentation he gave to visiting U.S. lawyers, secured a full ride for Duke Law's LLM program thanks to one of his audience members. Congrats! [Daily Business Review]
* A litigant with a Supreme pimp hand? Darius Clark, the man whose child-abuse case -- which is currently before SCOTUS -- will determine whether teachers may testify of behalf children, was indicted for allegedly running a prostitution ring from jail. [Northeast Ohio Media Group]
* Judge Mark Fuller of the Middle District of Alabama was arrested last summer on domestic violence charges after his wife confronted him about an alleged affair with a law clerk. What a gent! He'll be resigning from the bench August 1. [USA Today]
* You can roll your eyes at Rand Paul all you want, but several key parts of the Patriot Act expired shortly after midnight because the Senate was unable to reach a deal to extend it. (FYI, DOJ may still use grandfathered privacy-poaching techniques.) [New York Times]
* "Nothing changes. The system is disgusting. There is no due process." Do you want to read the story that made Cuba's government ban an American legal journalist from any further coverage of the country's court system? Of course you do. [Daily Business Review]
* “I can’t preserve caution in my delight with Ruth.” This is what retired Justice David Souter wrote about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's performance after her first week on the bench. He already knew back then that she was no-no-no-NOTORIOUS. [Boston Globe]
* Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who recently resigned from Dickstein Shapiro following his indictment, was allegedly paying a former student "hundreds of thousands of dollars" to keep quiet about past sexual abuse at the politician's hands. [New York Times]
* Beau Biden, former state attorney general of Delaware, major in the Delaware Army National Guard’s JAG Corps, and son of Vice President Joe Biden, RIP. [Washington Post]
* What Dewey think the leaders of this failed firm -- Steven Davis, Stephen DiCarmine, and Joel Sanders -- were doing during Memorial Day Weekend? Odds are at least one was working on his tan prior to opening arguments at tomorrow's trial. [American Lawyer]
* Sofia Vergara will be heading back to court after a judge granted Nick Loeb, her ex-fiancé, permission to amend his complaint to seek custody over the couple's frozen embryos. "There is no legal issue. Embryos are not children," says her lawyer. [ET Online]
* After making great hay of the school's apparently dire financial straits in a last-ditch effort to woo InfiLaw back into its lonely arms, Charleston Law will be enrolling new students after all. We'll have more on this desperate move later. [Post and Courier]
* Cuba Libres for everyone! The Florida Bar is sending a parade of lawyers into Cuba to explore potential business opportunities while Biglaw firms are breaking into their stashes of Romeo y Julietas in preparation for an influx of post-embargo billable hours. [Reuters]
* Students at Northern Kentucky Law may soon be doing time at a local jail to complete their educations, since the administration is considering moving the school there. At least they'll have practice for their residence in debtors' prisons in the future. [NKY.com]
* The joke's on North Korea: you can't hack the D.C. Circuit because they still use Commodore 64s. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* As we remember the Slaughter and May holiday party of 1981, here's a mashup with contemporary music. [Legal Cheek]
* With restrictions lifting, what will America's new relationship with Cuba mean for business? I'm most looking forward to imported communist liquor. They can call it Red Rum. [LXBN]
* Court says Muslim can't take the oath on a Koran. I mean, isn't this that special time of year where people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ? [Religion Clause]
* The least efficient armed robbery ever nets pennies. If one of these guys drops a dime on the others guys he'd actually be coming out ahead. [Legal Juice]
* Christmas wishes revolving mostly around Agent Carter and Star Wars. My only Star Wars wish is for a stand-alone Admiral Ackbar movie, but we're not going to get it. [The Legal Geeks]
* Many Biglaw firms seem to be dragging their feet to match Davis Polk's generous bonus scale. Why's that? According to one partner, these bonus matches have cut into his firm's profits by about 4 percent. Yikes! [The Economist]
* Total 1L enrollment in law school is the lowest it's been since 1973, when there were 53 fewer schools. The next step would be to reduce tuition to 1973 levels, and then no one would have any more complaints. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Just because Bingham McCutchen bit the big one, it doesn't mean that all of its pro bono cases will have to suffer the same fate. Not only did Morgan Lewis rescue most of the firm's attorneys, but it's also saving 500 of its pro bono cases. [Am Law Daily]
* Now that President Obama has decided to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba, lawyers are champing at the bit for more business opportunities. Love Cuban cigars? Well, lawyers love trademark disputes involving those cigars. [National Law Journal]
* Greenberg Traurig reminds Florida clerks that if they issue gay marriage licenses, they could be criminally charged. Plaintiffs' attorneys remind Florida clerks that if they refuse to issue gay marriage licenses, they could be sued. [Tampa Bay Times]
* Our managing editor, David Lat, sat down with Vivia Chen to dish about some of his favorite things, from his new book, Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), to his new fiancé. Her book review: "I liked it! It's a fun, breezy read." Hooray! [The Careerist]
